


Ouroboros

by MyIvy



Category: Thor (Comics), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Attempted Rape, F/M, Female Loki, Frottage, M/M, Sexual Assault, Thorki - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-04
Updated: 2013-01-04
Packaged: 2017-11-23 15:02:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/623465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyIvy/pseuds/MyIvy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shoehorned in while Thor is still in control of Asgard-over-Broxton and Loki has been reborn in Sif's skin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Snake

**Author's Note:**

> Setting: Shoe horned in while Thor is still in control of Asgard-over-Broxton and Loki has been reborn in Sif's skin.  
> Trigger Warnings: sexual assault, attempted rape  
> Notes: Loki demands that others refer to him as a female so that his rebirth will seen more distinctly as a rebirth. But inwardly, he's wearing Sif's skin and still sees himself as a male. So others refer to him as a lady while internally he uses male pronouns. Sorry for any confusion.

The apothecary was nervous and fidgety.

"Calm yourself," said Thor, handing her some wine which she downed readily. "What troubles you?"

"My liege...a measure of one of my powders is missing."

"Missing," he repeated. Silence fell between them. The implication was quite clear.

"I'll look into it," he said with a frown, standing to do just that. He paused. "Apothecary. What does this powder do?"

She swallowed down an obvious lump. "It...my liege, it's not to be used on its own. But when it is, it's a powerful....it...it causes a weakness in the body. A powerful weakness and dizziness. It has a light flavor that can be covered easily by a wine or mead. My lord... it’s..it’s made from the hips of a Jotunheim rose."

Thor nodded. The apothecary hadn’t needed to mention the Jotunheim nature of the powder, they both knew who the likely suspect was. There was a holiday banquet that night and it would be a perfect opportunity, he reflected wearily. He'd been waiting for Loki to strike since his...her...rebirth. He had to keep reminding himself of her sex, Lady Loki did not like others to refer to her as a male, as if she was somehow not what she appeared. He tried very, very hard to remember and to believe.

That night he watched over the banquet from his place of honor. He didn't tell his three friends of the missing powder out of the small, very very small, chance that this was not Loki's doing. It was hard enough for any Asgardian, save Baldr to give him the benefit of the doubt. Thor could not trust his bro-...sister... but he could give her the benefit of the doubt.

Loki arrived late, in a shimmering green dress that was more intricate than her usual. It hung off her shoulders and breasts and hips in enticing pools. Enticing. Had he really just thought that? Ugh. Sorry, sister.

Loki was very pretty and she seemed to have taken extra care with her hair, with the kohl and jewelry and soft accents of her ankles and wrists. She looked warmer than usual, more friendly.

This did nothing to endear her to the others. She was not approached or asked to dance. If this bothered her, it did not show, she leaned on the colonnade and drank her wine, watching.

He stood, going to his sister. It gave him an amount of satisfaction to see the surprise in her eyes.

“Dance with me,” he said, holding out a hand to her, ignoring the twitter working its way around the hall.

Something flickered across her face, hesitating for a moment and then taking it. And then guilt took his satisfaction and formed a little knot in Thor’s chest. She thought he was being kind to her, but truly he was just trying to keep an eye on her.

Loki, as a man, had been very light on his feet, fast where Thor was less so. But Thor found himself having to guide her quite a bit, perhaps she wasn’t yet used to how to move her body with its slim ankles and wider hips.

This exposure of a weakness made itself known on her face as she furrowed her brow and had to concentrate more. “You don’t have to be good at everything,” Thor murmured, having to smile a little.

“At this, at least!”

It was rather...cute. Her frustration. Which gave him another sort of guilt. He’d never found Loki cute as a brother, it was wrong of him to think this sister cute. To be fair, this form was a good deal cuter! Much, much cuter!

She picked up the dance about midway through the song and her back straightened in pride. The dance ended and he put Loki back at her secluded place. Was she really up to something? It was hard to picture it from how pleased and flushed she looked at her accomplishment, practically preening.

“Thank you, sister,” he said, giving her a nod which she returned.

There, now his sister would not think it strange when he glanced over at her, just a show of brotherly affection.

The night wore on. Around the thousandth time he checked on Loki, he noticed someone else speaking with her. A lower Asgardian he’d never really spoken to. Ralder, his mind supplied after a lot of thought.

Ralder was giving her wine and asking her things he couldn’t hear. She replied with lots of animated motions. She seemed pleased by whatever it was. Well. That was fine. Well and good that someone was venturing to her. Perhaps his dance with her had given others courage.

Did this Loki like men? Or women? Neither? Both?

By the Nine, why was he thinking of this? He shivered a little, once more disgusted with himself. He knew Loki wasn’t truly his sister, he’d never been truly related to either Loki. But they’d grown up together and that made all the difference. Either way, it was rude to think on such things. It was none of his business.

At the end of the night, Ralder seemed to be wandering away with his wine flushed sister.

Thor had known Loki enough. If Loki was up to something, she’d make it seem as if her target had approached her first.

And so he followed, quietly, as the pair headed towards Loki’s chamber in the western tower.. Loki seemed very giggly and was leaning heavily on Ralder, very drunk. And something...protective flared up in Thor. Was this Ralder thinking he’d sleep with Loki? Loki was much too drunk to give any sort of consent. H put a hand to his hammer and lifted his foot to step from the dark.

But Ralder was all smiles and coaxing. “Come, you’ve had too much to drink,” Thor caught.

“I barely had any,” complained Loki.

“We’ll get you to bed, and in the morning we can break fast with some more wine, how about that?”

Oh. A gentleman then. Well. All right then. All right. 

Though something tugged at Thor that he couldn't put a finger on. Perhaps he was being paranoid because it was his sister, was he more protective because Loki was a woman now? Again he admonished himself for the difference in treatment. It was not fair to his sister to coddle her. As if she were not an adult and accomplished sorceress.

But still. Still. He waited. It would do no harm to wait, would it? And if he was wrong, Loki would never know. Besides, what of the powder?

~~~~

Ralder was shushing and guiding him to sit and Loki did want to sit. He wanted to lay down and never get up again. His head was swimming. This damn body. Was Sif such a lightweight? She’d never seemed so, he’d seen her drink others under the table. Perhaps it was the combination of himself and Sif’s skin that was doing it, that wouldn't surprise him, it threw all of his eldritch calculations off. No it was hard just to try to puzzle anything out, his head ached so much.

Ralder was saying something to him as he pressed him down and back, but his words were filtering so slowly through his headache. “I’m going to make it hurt, Loki, going to tear you open, you little bitch.”

Oh. That’s what this was.

He’d never thought of this, that any of the Asgardians would dare. He was Loki. Were they really so sexist that they would see his female form as more vulnerable? This would have worked on him as a male as well. Or perhaps-....it was so hard to reason, his mind was wandering and stumbling.

Loki was panting as his dress was torn down. His mind stopped asking hows and whys. It knew what to do. He had to get away. He shoved him hard, squirming back, but immediately lost all his strength from the effort, unable to catch himself when he fell half off the bed. Ralder’s fingers fisted in his hair and dragged him back up onto the sheets, the movement making the room spin even harder.

“Even if you tell anyone, no one will care. No one will believe you. But you’ll know, you little snake. You’ll know I had Loki’s maidenhead,” he accented this by grasping and twisting one of his breasts. But all that was true.

He would have cried out from the pain but Ralder’s hand held his throat, squeezing hard as he ripped down remnants of his garments. He’d already managed to get his cock out. Satisfied that he’d throttled him to silence, he removed his hand from his pale throat, leaving Loki gasping, in tears from the strain. “No,” he whispered hoarsely, pushing feebly at Ralder’s chest with his hands.

Ralder’s fist crashed into his jaw, once and then twice and Loki’s vision filled with white, mouth filling with blood as Ralder tied his wrists. Loki felt him stiffening on his thighs, heard him promising to have him the ‘other way’ as well. He felt a hand grasp that still rather foreign area of his body and squeeze hard, driving tears out of his eyes in pain and shock.

But Loki’s power was in his mouth, in his tongue. And by association, in his lungs and he wouldn't be quieted. “Thor!”

Loki didn't actually see what happened, too dizzy and weak to even sit up, but he heard it. He heard Ralder hit the ground, and then the pounding, the sound of hammer on skull. He’d been hit quite a few times with that hammer but it had never sounded like this, not so wet.

Then he was being picked up, the motion almost making him vomit. He passed out at some point, the last thing he saw as the soft glow of sconce in the hallway.

~~~~

The next morning he was very sore. Very. Everything seemed too bright as well. He groaned. Or he wanted to but it came out more a wheeze due to his damaged throat. At the sound, Thor sat up, his body alert but his eyes took time to comprehend.

“Oh. Oh, you’re awake.,” the thunder god yawned a little. He must have dozed for a few minutes. “Are you....how do you feel?”

Loki’s lips twitched, eyes burning. “How do you think I feel?” he snapped. “He attacked me.” He couldn't call it what it was. He tried to rape me.

Thor reached over, pushing black hair back and holding the side of his face. “I know. I know, I’m sorry. He won’t be able to again. I’m sorry.”

Loki glanced at him sideways. “Is he dead?”

“No. No. Nearly.But I've had him put in the dungeons. Men like that, they never stop. You would not be the first or last, I should think.”

Loki nodded. He’d have his revenge himself, then. Good. “He drugged me to do it.”

“I know. I found the vial on him.”

Loki didn't miss the strangely guilty look on his face. What was that about?

“Did he...I wasn't sure how fast I was...” Thor stumbled.

“I am ‘intact’, if that’s what you’re asking,” Loki said tiredly and Thor obviously felt foolish. It was a terrible question.

“Forgive me. I've never...dealt with anything like this.” He dug into a small satchel he’d left at his feet. “I brought you this.” It was a bowl of healing salve to help his bruises and sprains. “There were other things, drinks and incense, but I was told this would be the most effective.”

Loki frowned, avoiding his gaze. “I’m too sore and weak still to apply it. I’ll bear it in the meantime.” A healer could do it, of course, but they both understood that Loki would not like that. Thor had already apparently taken pains to be discreet by not taking Loki to a healer in the first place. His brother at least had that bit of sense about him.

“I could do this for you.”

Loki looked at him. “What?”

“Loki....you’re my sister. Surely, siblings can tend to each other in this way,” Thor coaxed. He knew Thor was reaching, they had never been very “brotherly” to one another so calling upon siblinghood was a very weak case. It was no case at all, really. So it really was a desperate attempt to offer assistance while still giving Loki some semblance of dignity on the matter.

“Very well,” he replied, his tone clipped. Such shame he had to endure now! But what was shame to Loki? The most important thing was that Loki not be so damn sore and besides, it would be Thor’s shame as well.

Thor nodded, gingerly drawing back the covers. Underneath, Loki was naked, but it seemed even Thor who still had the distraction towards sex that rivaled that of a teenager, could not find this to be a thing to blush at. Loki was covered in bruises, in places he’d probably never seen a person bruised. Loki laid still and limp as his brother tended to each place, letting out a sigh of relief as the thick substance started seeping into his skin. When Thor’s hand reached lower to the juncture of his thighs his hand clutched a cushion until his knuckles turned white. It wasn't so much that it hurt as that...no he couldn't place it. Nausea, perhaps. A strange tension.

“Loki...” Thor’s voice was soft and sympathetic and concerned and it filled Loki with a mixture of self loathing and weakness and rage and...And then he was crying, starting with a choked out sob.

Thor stopped and slid his arms around him, shushing and petting dark hair. “It’s all right, sister, I have you.”


	2. That Eats Itself

Loki stayed in Thor's chambers while she healed and they kept it between them for the time being. Eventually they would have to figure out what to say. You couldn't just toss someone in the dungeon with little reason, even if you were Thor.

When Thor showed her the vial she furrowed her brow. “He used enough for five Asgardians. It’ll take forever for me to recover from this much...”

Repeated use of the salve soothed away the aches and bruises, but the rose powder had been used in such excess that it would take a good amount of time to recover. It made her tire easily and given to dizzy spells, so much so that for the first week just getting out of bed was impossible.

“There is nothing I can do to help?” he asked, having caught her around the waist when she’d pushed herself too hard again.

“You’re doing it,” she replied quietly as he settled her back into his bed.

“No, sister, I mean to say...is there not some tonic I might fetch you? Some...some ingredient to heal you.”

Loki lifted her eyebrows. “Thor, there is none, I’ve told you. It must be simply waited out.”

Thor squeezed his sister’s pale hand and kissed the back of it. “I dislike seeing you so.”

“I dislike being so,” Loki replied softly. “But there is nothing you can do.”

This was the most maddening state she could have been in. She needed him, quite literally. And she was so very hurt. Not just physically. A strange timidity had settled over her. Terrible as it was, he preferred her weeping to this. It was like a light in her had been dimmed substantially. It was something like battle-poisoning, he thought, the sickness warriors got when a battle had shaken them in some deep way. This was not something he could tend to with anything but patience and patience was not a gift Thor had in abundance.

And that thought, the one that kept whispering in the back of his mind: had Loki done this to herself? To make him fret over her? He knew no one in Asgard would ever fault him for thinking it, but that did little to assuage his guilt. The only one Loki had to comfort and care for her was Thor. Loki deserved someone who believed her and Thor would behave as such, he told himself firmly.

“I must bathe you,” he said gently, tucking black hair behind an ear. It had to be done and could wait no longer. She didn’t look him in the eye when she nodded her assent. She hadn’t looked him in the eye when he’d put the salve on her either. Shame. Or maybe anger. Both. 

He carried her to the bath. It was a large pool fed by two fountains. Settling her into the water, he took off his own tunic but left his pants, wet leggings were the least of his concerns. He poured water on the iron bowl of coals to release more steam into the room and then took a place behind her in the water. This way she would be secure against him and he would not see her so blatantly.

She winced as he slid the fabric off her slim shoulders, letting it float off on the surface. Her soft hisses of pain burned him, knowing they would only be expressed if the pain was very great. A tension went out of her once the fabric was off, leaving her panting in relief. Thor watched her as he began washing her cream colored skin. Did she sense his suspicion? And if she was innocent, she was freshly abused and doubted by her own brother, did she have to bear this insult because he was the only one that knew and the only one that could care for her?

He drew her hair back out of the way to wash her shoulder. He’d seen Loki naked before a thousand times as a man. This was now only the second as a woman. Even tired and injured she was startling in her loveliness. Though she was not warm yellows and golds like other Asgardians she had an undeniable winter beauty to her with long dark lashes and greenish undertone.

How long would it be before the suitors came?

Hm, no, probably never. Lovely as his sister was, he doubted an Asgardian would venture past the lingering distrust and outright hate to wed her. Thor had always thought he’d wed eventually, it was a given. But what of Loki? Loki had, to his knowledge, two daughters, both from unknown mothers with little interest in marriage or even love.

But that had been then, when Loki’s every waking moment had been consumed by his quest for power or laying Thor low. Now, Loki was reborn and a princess of Asgard. Without a grudge, Loki seemed to be comprised of a sharp wit, sharper tongue and penchant for books. Did this Loki crave a marriage? A family? Children? As head of the royal household it was his duty to secure a good marriage for his sister should she want it. No, he couldn’t leave it unthought of.

As he worked, his mind drifted to possibilities. Perhaps someone outside of the Aesir would seek her out, surely someone would want her on pure political levels. But would they treat her well? Love her? Didn’t his sister deserve love like any other?

Hadn’t his brother? asked another part of him.

“Surely my hair is clean now?”

He’d become lost in thought and had been mindlessly rinsing. He paused, blinking. “Oh. Yes, of course.”

Silence fell as the uncomfortable question came to both their minds. Should he attend to that as well? She’d been too weak to even salve it and her weeping and shame and fury from that time was still fresh in his mind.

“It must be done,” she said, her voice tight. Loki could do it, possibly, but not without the danger of falling and hurting herself further. 

“Of course,” he whispered. After steaming the room again, he snaked a hand around her waist to steady her. He was a good deal larger than her and bent over her, instinctively trying to offer some shelter from everything outside themselves. His hand went under the water and he felt her body cringe, slim white fingers digging into his arm before he even started properly.

“It hurts?” he asked softly against her ear.

“Yes...it shouldn’t but it does.” It was strange. The salve should have tended to that, the rest of her bruises had healed. But she couldn’t be faking, not with that look on her face. But that could be a fake too! Logically, he knew this. He knew it could all be false. But that knowledge didn’t make his heart ache with sympathy any less for her.

Turning his head, he kissed her temple, and then her head turned sharply to look at him. Loki’s face had a talent for being either anonymous or incredibly blatant and now it was blatant in its surprise. He’d done it without thinking, just to soothe her! But with their particular past, it was as bizarre as if Thor had suddenly become a massive rabbit.

He grasped desperately for some sort of explanation or excuse he could give but was saved from it by his sister finally dropping her gaze, eyes darting in obvious thought and then...she settled, face flushed now. Perhaps he’d only embarrassed her with the show of affection and she didn’t really find it so repugnant? Or she so didn’t know what to make of it that she simply accepted it.

Green eyes flicked to him in a sidelong way. Ah, it dawned on him: she was curious. He’d puzzled her and the puzzle had kept her from withdrawing. No matter the shape, she truly was Loki. One of the few things he’d always found charming about his sibling was his weakness to puzzling things.

He smiled at her a little. “A brother is allowed to do such a thing, I think,” he offered.

Loki seemed to consider this. “....yes,” she agreed slowly. “It’s a common enough thing.”

This had a better effect than he’d planned, it’d distracted her from the pain. and soon the bath was over. He was so pleased by this effect he kissed her again as he wrapped her in warm towels to dry her, right on her brow, receiving another look of surprise and then embarrassment.

She was very pretty when she blushed, he thought as he left her fresh and clean in his bed after assisting her in getting dressed again. 

And then his nose wrinkled as he thought on her being married off again. What if he was a brute? What if he hurt her? Or even if he was kind, took her too roughly from a lack of skill? His head was filled with the thought of fumbling, rough hands on her, and then filled with annoyance at his thinking of her too weak again, and then annoyance again at his thinking this made it all right not to worry about her. No Asgardian, male or female, was protected from the threat of a bad marriage, after all. And why did he assume this Loki would take a male? Perhaps a wife instead was what she wanted.

Normally the thought of two women writhing about was something Thor was very, very fond of, especially late at night. But when Loki was one of the women rolling around in bedclothes, Thor found this image anything but pleasing. No. No, he would not like that either.

He spent much time with her. And because of this, much more time thinking of her. Thinking of whether this was a great trick or not, and then guilt at this thought and which led him to care for her more carefully which led to him thinking on her even more and on and on it went.

If she was trying to beat Thor, she had won. Perhaps without knowing it, she’d found a way to consume Thor with so much guilt that he could do nothing but be in perpetual penance to her and with so much pity he could only dote on her.

\------------

Thor gave Loki more attention than he knew what to do with. Literally. He had a brilliant tongue but still, he was not one for idle conversation and now he found they spent exorbitant amounts of time together. Was he supposed to speak to him the whole time? He damn well wasn’t going to, it tired him too much either way. So it became some conversation and then Loki quietly reading the rest of the time. Sometimes Thor laid in bed beside him, dozing or reading a bit with him over his hand.

It was all right, he supposed. Though at times it did make him...he didn't know. Angry? His brother had never been so affectionate to him before. It took a rapist and woman's body to do it, he thought. It was a very bitter thought, and like most bitter thoughts it took root in the fertile, resentful ground of Loki’s mind. The thought turned hotly in his head and seeped into all of his interactions with his brother. Everyday his checking and double checking, his softened tone, his concerned glances, grew more and more annoying, more curdling as he thought on it. 

It was so bitter and foul that it disturbed his sleep, it disturbed his plans, his schemes. Insinuating himself into Thor’s heart had been the plan all along. But not like this. Not out of pity and a weakness for a female figure. He wanted it by his own design. It would have been different if he’d orchestrated the thing, ensorcelled Ralder into it, played a grateful and traumatized sister. And he knew he was being rather picky, he knew it. Weren’t his larger designs more important? asked a part of him. But the rest of him, the whole of him knew that Loki must have things to his own design or else it didn’t count.

It pricked at him incessantly, and sapped joy from his work. He saw a thousand little openings, a thousand little places to slip a knife into Thor’s heart and he used none of them. He did not even spit the anger at him in his words.

And the more hollow he felt, the more Thor doted in response, trying to draw him out. He brought him presents, brought him jewels and thick furs that matched his hair, or matched his eyes. Thor spoke to him, asked his opinion on matters of politics. And when Loki was strong enough to move about again, at feasts Thor would dance with him and him only to show him favor. And though inside he burned, outwardly he accepted every gift gratefully, gave tempered advice, and danced every dance.

His brother turned him into....well. A princess of Asgard.

More annoying was that he realized all this, realized the effect it was having on him, and that only distressed him further. A snake eating its own tail, he recognized uselessly. He was in a perpetual checkmate, the brute had effectively beaten him without even trying. But the very most annoying thing, the absolute worst of it, was that he liked it. He liked the fawning and the gentle kisses that sometimes came without warning, he liked the comfort of his presence. He liked the acts even if the things under the acts infuriated him.

His chest ached and he’d gained a habit of rubbing the space above his chest absentmindedly to soothe it. Doing just this, he sat by a window wrapped in a gift of dark fur, watching the snowfall. By the Nine, he thought it possible he was dying. It certainly felt that way. As if he was very old and slowly sinking into it.

“Sister.”

“Yes, Thor.” He’d been so lost in thought he’d missed his entrance. Loki was a great deal better now, almost completely back to his strength.

“Sister...ah. Do you...May I ask you something?”

“Of course, my lord, I am ever at your service. As I’ve told you.”

“Loki, do you...prefer men? Or women?”

Loki made no attempt to hide how ridiculous this question was to him, a look that could have withered spring with the muted incredulity at his stupidity. Thor put up his hands. “Forgive me, I did not mean to insult. I simply...I was only curious. You needn’t tell me!”

He sighed, giving his brother a boon by looking out the window again. “In all honesty, my lord, I have not thought on it. Even in my previous incarnation, my relations were very few and I think more out of...I don’t know. Interest. I would become engrossed in them, consumed. It was only rarely that I actually slept with them. Even that was more of a desire to comprehend them. I don’t know if I’ll become interested in a woman or a man if I ever become interested in someone again.” She looked at him again. “Why do you think on this? Are you planning to marry me off?” 

He was joking but Thor’s reply was loud and immediate. “No! No, never!” Apparently realizing how inappropriate this reaction was, Thor put a hand to his mouth and avoided Loki’s gaze.

“I should think not, who would have me?” It was a joke used to smooth over the awkwardness but true nonetheless.This “rebirth” deception was to be a long term scheme and it was much too early for anything like that.

Again, Thor’s response seemed to come out of him involuntarily. “Anyone! You are beautiful and powerful and clever in equal measures!”

“Thor.” It was all Loki needed to say to show how silly he thought this response was.

“You are! But....but I....you are my sister,” he said as if that were some explanation. “I would never marry you off if you didn’t wish it personally!! And only then if you very dearly wanted it.”

“So you want a spinster for a sister?” Loki cared little either way but this was much too amusing for him to stop teasing him.

“No....no. I....no one is fit for you! You are...I could not stand it!”

Loki laughed so hard he surprised even himself, it’d been a long time since he’d laughed at anything. “So that’s how you are with a little sister! One of those men who froths at the thought of some man rutting her!”

Thor cringed at his words. “I do not like it! And do not say such things!”

“You sound like a little boy!” he laughed, tears from it actually forming at the corners of his eyes.

\-----------

And then Thor kissed him, catching him in mid-laugh.

Eyes wide, Loki pushed him off, blinking at him, obviously looking him over for some sign of him being possessed. Finding none, her eyes became wider.

But she didn’t look fearful so much as surprised so he came and kissed her again, more deeply, making her gasp against it. This time she didn’t quite kiss back but seemed to relax to it.

“I want you. I would have you. I cannot stand the thought of another with you. I want you, let me have you.” He sounded much more desperate than he’d thought but the sound was true.

“You are....you are confused...Thor, you’re my brother,” she said in a hush. “You love me as a brother does. You don’t really desire me in this way.”

“Not by blood,” he said desperate. “In my heart, yes, but not by blood. I love you with the magnitude of a sister and without blood to stop us...Let me have you,” he said urgently against her neck, kissing there, hands beginning to roam into the fur, touching her spine. 

“You are a lustful thing, don’t deny it, you would have me and be done with me!”

“No,” he whispered against her throat. “No. Never. I’d never be done with you. I needn’t touch you at all. as long as you were mine and no other’s.”

This made her pause and draw back to look at him.

“Please. Try this a little and I would be satisfied if you did not feel the same. Simply taste. I beg you.”

His sister considered, looking at the floor for a moment before looking up at him. “Very well, I assent,” she said, stiffly.

Thor lifted his eyebrows at her, “It’s not a contract! You’re not bound to me that way! This is...a courtship.”

Loki rubbed at her chest. “And will it be a public courtship?”

“I...I would prefer that, if it’s alright with you.”

Loki tilted her head back in consideration.

\---------

On the one hand, how delicious would it be to have Thor publicly in his thrall? But on the other hand, he didn’t relish the thought of being bothered by The Three, this would be the thing to throw their patience with his presence to the wind.

“Yes. I would prefer it be public. If it came out later, it would look suspicious, I think.”

Thor grinned and kissed him, this time he kissed back. Yes, this did go to his plan but again how could he enjoy it?! His brother had fallen for him out of no work of his own! But then he did enjoy this kissing...

Loki, though he was all sorts of evil, didn’t have much issue with a seduction between two men. He and Thor shared this opinion though most of Asgard did not, perhaps because Loki had always had to deal with the stigma of possessing the qualities commonly associated with women; and Thor because his travels had exposed him to more sensible perspectives. As long as the Lord Thor didn’t mind it, Loki could care less what they thought, Thor would fly into a rage and bash a face if it was mentioned.

It would probably cause Thor political problems but his brother had never been anything but honest and honesty had little place in politics.

And so it was that Princess Loki was now being courted by “her” brother. There was a row between Thor and The Three. No matter what was said, they couldn’t trust Loki and though the bellowing finally finished, it was only left in stalemate. Thor could not convince them to trust Loki but he could command them to respect his sibling, no matter what they thought.

Their hate took the form of closely spying on her at all hours, their inability to catch her at anything only drove them harder. Loki was a perfect “princess” and consort. He gave quick and astute advice on everything from social interactions to defensive measures.

As if to prove this further they began to share a bed. At first they only kissed, almost chastely, Thor only tasting him briefly before they slept. Then soon, he began to kiss soft breasts as well, suckling and teasing them enough to make Loki’s thighs squirm. Then one night, after teasing him so he started to slip his hand lower, gathering up the sheer fabric of his night clothes to touch the place he’d made wet but Loki hissed and drew away.

Panting, the trickster had to take time to regain himself, sitting up in bed to find a cup to pour wine into. 

Thor kissed his shoulder. “I’m sorry, I can wait.”

“It’s not that. I...it hurts still.” Still! After so much time. He’d tried tonics and all manner of things. He’d numbed it even out of frustration but the effect was fairly useless as numb flesh could feel no pleasure as well.

“No matter. Perhaps the powder lingers more than we thought,” he soothed. “I needn’t touch there to please you.”

And so they carried on that way, Thor driving him to completion with kisses and attending to sensitive nipples. It was only after many nights like this that it finally occurred to Loki that he was not returning the favor in any way and Thor had never suggested or implied he desired it in any way, shape or form.

When next his brother approached the best, Loki paused him with piercing eyes. “You oaf, Ive not touched you this entire time! You never even once mentioned it.”

Thor rubbed the back of his neck. “I thought....I thought perhaps you were too...proper. Or inexperienced. Or simply shy.” He shrugged. “It’s no matter, I attend to myself later, your writhing and moans are enough to fuel it.”

Loki took him by the hand, dragging him down into bed until he was on top of her. “There are other ways to please you.”

So Loki used his mouth, wrapping plump lips around him, using his knowledge of his previous life to guide him. His brother stroked at his hair frantically until he spent himself into a hot throat. 

Then the next night Loki had him rutting between pale breasts, splattering his chest and lips with fluid.

And then the next night Thor frantically slid back and forth in the valley between plump cheeks, finishing on the backs of her thighs.

And in various combinations of these things they pleased one another until one night Loki remembered all the things that had weighed on him before his brother began courting him. And despite all their nights together, he had never once felt the need to reply to Thor’s whispered love confessions with his own.

\---------------

“Loki, what is it?” he asked quietly into Loki’s shoulder as he found his hand and kissed the fingers.

“You never loved me this way when I was a man.” His own voice was so pained it startled him.

Thor was silent for a time, the only sound in the room was Loki’s own upset huffing and Thor’s soft breathing.

“I loved you. But...I wasn’t kind to you. Children are cruel. So are adults. We were all cruel to you, in our own ways, don’t think I don’t know. I treated you badly because I could, because I was a little beast, jealous and petty. But now, we needn’t worry about Ragnarok anymore. We are reborn, free of those fates. I can’t change how I’ve hurt you...I can only apologize. And try to love you better. Love you the way I should have all along.” 

Thor’s words burned his chest. No one had ever said these things to him, had ever acknowledged that anything they’d done had been inappropriate to an orphaned child from a different world.

“It’s only because I’m a woman now,” he spat in his anger.

Thor tightened his grip on him, kissing at a temple. “No. No, it’s not. It...it helps me see that you’re a different person, yes. It makes it more clear, I suppose. But brother or sister, I love you.”

“You say all this,” his voice was louder this time, “While trying into my dress! Don’t speak to me of sibling love when what you’re after is-”

Thor turned him suddenly, making him face him and Loki froze, instinctively fearful at the grab. Thor felt the tension and released him immediately. “No.” He kissed the top of Loki’s hand. “No. I desire your body, but I desire your happiness more. You think it was because of that night, Loki. But it wasn’t. It’s not some hero complex.”

Loki made a derisive snort. Absolutely a hero complex.

“It seems that way, I know. But it’s not that. It was just that....it made me realize how important you are to me. How much it pained me to see you hurt. How it could have been prevented if I had been kinder to you. All this time, you’ve needed someone, needed me, and I neglected you since the day you were made my brother. Let me beg forgiveness, sister.” Thor had coaxed him close again and was putting his mouth to his neck. “If you were a man, I’d beg you still. I’d want you still.”

Was that true? Would Thor still want him outside of Sif’s skin? “Thor. You cannot....you cannot fix what happened before. No amount of honey now can sweeten that bitterness then. You cannot mend me by having me gently,” he explained tiredly, though still letting him nuzzle and kiss his throat.

“I know this, sister.”

Sister.

\------------

There was a strange shimmer. The change was subtle but then....not. Like himself, Loki had been reborn to a younger age, perhaps their twenties. In his previous life, Loki had already been filled to the brim with rage and spite by that age and they had not had much time together. And Thor had been consumed with the usual things a young man was consumed with (women and fighting) and he hadn’t had a chance to notice how lovely his brother was.

He held the side of his face, looking him over. Her over? No he had no idea now. His sibling had always been practiced in shapeshifting, why hadn’t he thought of this possibility before? Of course she would have wanted to remain female as much as possible to prevent the others from seeing her rebirth as a deception and so they might more easily accept her.

Curious, he tugged at the sheets, making the other redden with alarm. “Thor!”

“I want to see!”

“I should think you’ve seen yourself enough!”

“I haven’t seen my pretty brother enough,” he grinned and Loki relented. He touched over his chest and sides, his abs, and then down.

Loki winced when his fingers grazed him and Thor retreated them immediately. “Tender in this body as well?”

“Yes. I did not think it would be so prolonged or pass to this form...”

Thor pulled his brother close, “I don’t need to touch there!”

\--------------

Loki pressed his face into Thor’s chest, shutting his eyes. “I want you to! I found the reason for it. It sometimes happens after....incidents like mine. It’s a physical reaction to the psychological. There’s no true and easy cure.”

“Loki. I’ll never need touch you there, as I’ve said. And perhaps time will heal you as your body learns to trust again. But even if it never does, I don’t care. I love you.”

And Loki believed him. 

“I love you as well,” he returned.

And they lived happily ever after.


End file.
